Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
