I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
