You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize