Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
