Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
