where does the pee come out of this thing
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
