Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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