white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize