Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think your dad took our porno
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
