yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
