walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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