they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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