Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
