i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
