I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
