Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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