my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
should my penis look like a turkey
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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