i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
