Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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