That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You've changed since you got that strap on
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
