me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
