Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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