So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
