i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
