I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize