dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
