Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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