The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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