he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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