i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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