DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
