I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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