Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
