The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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