Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
