Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
