it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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