My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
