I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
