i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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