it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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