Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
