Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
