Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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