imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
