So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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