Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
