K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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