My boss' voice literally gives me gas
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
