either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
