Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
