So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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