note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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