Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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