I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
