She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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