ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
