oh god the rape fog is back!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Randomize
