so explain again why im purple
no
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
