There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
