Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
