No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
