His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
