I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
