Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
